By Becky Hayes I had been praying for my son, Denith, to develop a close and personal relationship with Jesus while he was young, capitalizing on how much faith and capacity to believe two-year-olds have. I prayed that he wouldn't only come to know Jesus as his Savior, but also as the close and personal Friend that Jesus desires to be to everyone. I wanted Denith to sense His Spirit and to hear His voice. One night something very special happened that encouraged me and made me determined to teach my son more about how to hear from Jesus on his own. Denith had received a teddy bear when he was a baby, affectionately named "Teddy," and he was very attached to his stuffed friend. Everywhere Denith went—to preschool, to lunch, or to the supermarket—Teddy came along. One day Teddy was misplaced and could not be found. For three days we searched the house. I pulled everything out from under the bed in case he had fallen behind the bed and gotten stuck. The third night that Teddy was lost, I was putting my nine-month-old, Leilani, and Denith to sleep. The lights were out, and the children were all tucked into bed and ready to pray for the night, when Denith asked, "Mommy, where's Teddy?" "Honey," I said, "Teddy's lost. We need to look for Teddy during the day when there's light. Right now it's dark and we can't see. But why don't we ask Jesus to give Teddy a good night, and to help him be warm and cozy and sleep well." "Mommy, where's Jesus?" asked Denith. "Jesus is in your heart," I replied. "He's also in my heart, and He's all around us. If you talk to Him, He can hear you speak, and if you listen, you can hear Him talk to you." Without any further questions Denith promptly asked aloud, "Jesus, where's Teddy?" A short pause followed, and then in an excited but matter-of-fact manner, Denith exclaimed, "Oh, Mommy, Teddy is in the crib!" My body tingled with excitement. I knew that my son had heard Jesus answer his question. I didn't hesitate for a second. I began removing the toys and stuffed animals from the baby's crib. Sure enough, under the other toys, I saw Teddy. I was so touched by Jesus' love for Denith in rewarding his faith by answering him so clearly. It was also a good opportunity for me to show Denith that Jesus always has the answers. Courtesy of Activated! magazine. Used with permission. Photo adapted from Wikimedia Commons.
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By Kelly Palmatier, CompassionateKids.com, adapted Volunteering with children is a great way to help them learn about giving back. Children learn valuable skills, such as communication, organization, and team working, while “on the job”. One benefit of volunteering is that children learn about the concerns of the organization they work with, and what need it fills in the community. Consequently, the children also have an opportunity to remember what to be thankful for. It’s important to work side-by-side with your child, since leading by example has been shown to be the most effective form of teaching. Children who see their parents volunteering are much more likely to believe in the value of working to help others. Working side-by-side with your child has many benefits. It is the most effective way to teach your child the value of helping others, ensures that the child’s presence is a help, not a hindrance to the organization’s staff and other volunteers, and while focused on a task together, may foster deep conversations that may not have occurred otherwise. When choosing a volunteer opportunity, it is important to consider the following: 1. Your child’s interests: If your child is clearly interested in a subject, it may be possible to use that interest as a springboard into volunteering: Children who construct a lot of forts or buildings with blocks may enjoy helping out with a safe, simple renovation project. Children who love animals may enjoy helping animal organizations. Children who enjoy clothes and toys can start a clothing and toy drive for poor kids. Children who like baking can provide cookies to a poor orphanage or a home for the elderly. 2. Your interests: It is also important to consider your own interests as your child will emulate your passion and enthusiasm. 3. Your child’s abilities: If your child is very young, it can be challenging to choose a volunteer opportunity that he/she can actually help with. There are opportunities available that even very young children can do with a little parental guidance, such as helping to bag or box items for those in need, or giving flowers, cookies, or hugs to the elderly. 4. Your abilities: Your child will benefit from seeing you work well in your element. For example, if you are especially skilled at home renovations, you may find a community restoration project to work on. This would allow you to share your skills while demonstrating the relevance volunteering has in regards to different careers and interests. 5. Location, frequency, and duration: Consider the basic logistics of any volunteer opportunity. If the opportunity is close by, a commitment to help on a weekly basis may be fine. If it’s farther away, consider helping on a monthly basis. Your child is learning work ethics from this experience, so ensure you arrive on time, and only cancel or reschedule when you truly have valid reasons and can give plenty of notice. The duration of each volunteer session can vary according to the age of the children. Older children may be fine with a few hours or more, but younger children may need sessions to be short, even forty-five minutes. 6. Staff attitude: Most people will appreciate your instilling a volunteer ethic in children at a young age, but some will focus more on the noise level or other potential distractions. It is important to consider the effect others’ attitudes have on your child. If a child feels like a hindrance, volunteering could end up like a chore rather than a joy. The effort put into organizing volunteer opportunities for your children can provide a lifetime of benefit for both the kids involved and for society. Resources for finding volunteer opportunities
Article courtesy of Motivated magazine. Used with permission. Photo by David Katarina via Flickr.
Discuss how when we say things in anger, we can hurt others by our unkind and thoughtless words. This is why the Bible says, “The tongue is a small thing that makes grand speeches. But a tiny spark can set a great forest on fire” (James 3:5 NLT). Talk about how even small words can set off big emotions, how an unkind word can cause someone to cry, and how a kind and gentle word can make someone’s day. Watch “Stay Sweet.” This video features ideas of what to do when faced with a situation where it could be easy to lose one’s temper. Memorize the verse “A gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1 NIV). You can help your children write this verse in their notebooks or somewhere easily visible throughout the day. Read “Love Focuses on the Good.” Do the action on the last page of this article. Watch “I Get Along with My Brother.” Brainstorm ways to resolve common conflicts that arise with your child. It may be good to discuss how when you are feeling angry or upset, that probably isn’t the best time to try to talk to the friend or peer causing the upset. Waiting till one is calmer, or talking about one’s feelings with a parent or teacher can also help to set things right. Read “How Do We Love Others?” Do the action on the last page of this article. Additional Material:
Adapted from My Wonder Studio
When I think back on my own childhood, images of love, encouragement, and warm family memories flood my mind. I recall evenings on my dad’s lap listening to him read to me for hours. I have no doubt that those experiences instilled in me a lifelong love of books. Four decades later I can still hear my mom’s words, “Treat everyone with kindness, Michele,” in the same tone she used when I was young. The values that my parents modeled—perseverance, compassion, acceptance, and believing in myself—are the same ones that guide my life today. And they are the same values I try to model to my own children. You don’t need research to prove your influence: just one moment of catching your child imitating your behavior or repeating your words or emulating your values should confirm that you do make a difference. Common sense tells us we can significantly influence the direction of children’s lives. And there’s a simple reason: the skills for living successfully are learned—not inherited; we can make an enormous difference because we can teach these skills to our children and to our students. Handling life’s ups and downs, getting along with others, setting a goal and not giving up until it is reached, knowing how to find solutions and resolve conflicts, communicating assertively, and doing it all with compassion and empathy are the skills that build solid characters, strong minds, and caring hearts, and they are all skills that can be taught. Although our love and affection may not necessarily make our children more self-confident and friendly, we can nurture the skills that do enhance the traits of successful living. And regardless of your children’s innate temperament and genetic makeup, you can expand their potential by teaching them how to live more successful and fulfilled lives.--Michele Borba * How you live—your priorities, how you spend your time and money, how you treat others and your possessions—is the single best indicator of what matters to you and what values you hold dear. Believe me, your children read your life far more clearly than they heed your words. If both are in harmony, that’s great. If they’re not, it’s time to reevaluate. As you try to instill good values in your children, ask yourself:
* What does it mean to prepare children for life? It means giving thought to how to help your children progress through the natural stages of growth and development, being aware and abreast of what their peers are into or facing, and preparing your children for times when they may have to face similar things. It means teaching your children to have courage when they’re faced with difficult situations, and how to approach new situations responsibly and with confidence. It means that rather than sheltering your children from the negative influences in the world today, you teach them how to judge what’s right and wrong, and how to act with integrity, self-discipline, conviction, love, tolerance, and strength of character. … Teaching children moral values is a challenge that all parents face. Every concerned parent has to teach his or her children to hold to their values and convictions and beliefs even when exposed to influences that would not be tolerated in their own home, but which are simply a part of life once children attend school, have friends from families that don’t share a similar faith or moral code, etc. Preparing your children is essentially teaching them how to act and behave outside of the “safety” of their home or family structure, how to respond to circumstances with moral conviction, and how to cope when they’re away from their parents, as they face the realities of the world. … Children today face many influences, and they will face more in the course of life. Some will be positive, some will be negative, and many will be somewhere in between. Taking on the mentality of preparing them for life will help you to accept that you’re not able to protect them from ever coming in contact with negative influences, but that you are able to guide them to learn how to make right decisions when they do come in contact with them.--Maria Fontaine * “The Word of God is living and powerful.” (Hebrews 4:12) It lives in us, speaks to us, and fills our lives with light and understanding. As we drink in the living water of God’s Word, it begins to transform our hearts, minds, and lives. We begin to see things from God’s point of view, which often is entirely different from our own way of thinking. We discover things about ourselves and others that we cannot learn any other way. We wouldn’t say to a child lost in a forest, “Find your own way.” We would never think of not feeding our children, or not clothing them, or not letting them go out and play and get fresh air and exercise. Neither should we withhold from them the words of life—the power, light, and life of God. Jesus said, “The words that I speak to you are spirit, and they are life. (John 6:63) It is through God’s Word that your children will learn what is right and what is wrong, and it is God’s Word that will give them a solid foundation to hang onto through all the tests and trials they will face. And as they grow up, they will indeed face many, because life is a proving ground where we must learn to make choices on the side of what is right and good, rather than what is wrong and hurtful. Young as they are, your children soon find themselves engaged in this spiritual struggle and begin making choices that can greatly affect their lives and the lives of others. As parents, you can better prepare your children for these tough choices by giving them Jesus, a foundation of faith, and a knowledge of God’s Word.--Derek and Michelle Brookes Courtesy of Anchor. Photo by Rick Bolin via Flickr.
Good character consists of knowing the good, desiring the good, and doing the good—habits of the mind, habits of the heart, and habits of action. All three are necessary for leading a moral life; all three make up moral maturity. When we think about the kind of character we want for our children, it's clear that we want them to be able to judge what is right, care deeply about what is right, and then do what they believe to be right—even in the face of pressure from without and temptation from within.--Thomas Lickona * Since our children grow up to be their own persons, free to choose their own path, we can't be sure what long-range impact our moral teaching will have. But when we begin early to teach the values we cherish, and when we do so over many years, our potential influence, I believe, is very great indeed. Even if our children don't fully understand what we tell them when we tell them, our words may have lasting value nonetheless. They may echo in our children's minds in years to come. And as they look back through the lens of a more mature stage of development, our words may take on new and deeper meaning. As a parent, I find hope and comfort in that possibility. So talk to your children about what you believe.--Thomas Lickona * Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.--Proverbs 22:6 * If you continue to hold your child accountable over a period of time, the habit he is trying to develop will become ingrained in him. He will no longer need to be reminded, but he will carry out the habit naturally without much thought. There are a lot of habits I would like to see my children develop, like making their beds when first rising in the morning, saying please and thank you, drinking lots of water throughout the day. Those habits don't really have any impact on their relationship with the Lord, but they do make a difference. I also want them to develop habits that please the Lord. I challenge you to examine your children. … Discover what lifelong habits you want your children to have and cultivate them. They won't develop a good habit by being nagged into it, but by constant encouragement. … If we give our children nothing else in life but a love for the Lord Jesus Christ and strong character, we will have succeeded as parents. Character will get him a job. Character will get him up in the morning when he would rather not get up. Character will hold his marriage together someday. If we as parents build strong, godly character traits into our children, they will have the potential to bring about powerful change in our country in the future.--Terri Camp * These words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.--Deuteronomy 6:6–7 * Before we had children of our own, my husband and I found ourselves teaching a class in a Learning Center with another couple. For two and a half hours each Sunday, we were responsible for about 50 energetic six-, seven-, and eight-year-olds while their parents attended the church service and fellowship hour. At the beginning of each week, we met for dinner with the other couple to plan our lessons and design complementary activities. These sessions sometimes lasted more than three hours, since we had to formulate goals and objectives, prepare teaching agendas, and create evaluation techniques. Several years of mothering transpired before I realized that my life revealed a huge dichotomy. When I had been in charge of training someone else's children, I spared no amount of time or effort. However, I put very little planning or preparation time into the teaching and transforming of my own kids. Without realizing it, I had developed the attitude, “If I can just hang in there long enough, my job will eventually be over—by default if nothing else!” … “Somehow,” I reasoned, “they'll inevitably make it to adulthood. Someway they'll mature and make a contribution to society. Someday I will have completed my task.” But when I took the time to notice, I realized that the “somehow, someway, someday” attitude I had maintained was not working in our society. … Too many children are wandering around (or sitting around kicking the bark off stumps with their heels like mine did) without a clue as to where they are headed in life, because mothers like me have never pointed them in any direction. We can't just hang in there, hoping that somehow, someway, someday our kids will succeed. We need to start taking our child-raising assignment more seriously—making it our top priority. In order to do this, we need to take time to set character goals for our children. [Ask yourself:] * What five characteristics do I want to distinguish my child's life by the time he leaves home? * How am I going to steer my child toward one of these goals today?--Gwendolyn Mitchell Diaz * Take [your children] by the hand and lead them in the way of the Master.--Ephesians 6:4 * Discipline means training your children—training them to lead a disciplined life, and eventually to discipline themselves. If discipline is something that you only do “to” children, the end result could very well be that as soon as they get out from under your control, they go wild. But if you discipline them in the sense that you teach them and train them to lead disciplined lives, then the end result is that eventually they're able to discipline themselves for the most part.--Maria Fontaine Compilation courtesy of Anchor. Photo (adapted) from Wikimedia Commons
Most kids, when asked, will say that Easter is a holiday with a bunny who hides eggs.Stores are decked out with plastic eggs, baskets, and bunnies every year reinforcing the secular side of Easter. Easter is something much more, though. It is a celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ. So, how can a parent or grandparent teach the special kids in their lives about the true meaning of Easter? Here are a few ideas for teaching kids what Easter's really all about... (click here to read full article) Note from Freekidstories: Be sure to also check out the list of free children's stories, videos, coloring pages and links to cool Easter activities for kids of all ages! Happy Easter!
Photo courtesy of Eric M via Flickr. Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.—Proverbs 22:61 * One day before long, your children will be grown and gone. You’ll be thankful then that you gave them what they needed when they were growing up. It wasn’t easy, you sacrificed a lot, but it was worth it! Joy, a missionary and mother of a large family, put it this way: I’m looking at motherhood from another perspective now. I am beyond the initial years of diaper changing and midnight feeds, past potty time and a hundred scraped knees. I’m a grandma and a mommy rolled into one. My youngest children are still with me, but my eldest are married and have begun having children of their own. One blessed thought I want to share with younger parents as they face what looks like an insurmountable mountain of parenting is simply this: It’s worth it all! I get a wonderful feeling looking at my children who are now young adults, because I see how the Lord has worked in their lives. It gives me peace and a fresh vision for the little ones still in my arms. … So during those hours in the night while you are keeping watch over a sick child, smiling when you want to cry, singing as you pray for patience, wiping little noses while you dream of someday doing great things for God, just remember that you are. You will never regret one prayer, one song, one loving word. Each small act of love reaches out to them and touches them for eternity. After all the years of taking it all by faith, someday you—like me—will be blessed at seeing what they have become. —Derek and Michelle Brookes2 * Although love is essential to human life, parental responsibility extends far beyond it. Love in the absence of instruction will not produce a child with self-discipline, self-control, and respect for his fellow man. Affection and warmth underlie all mental and physical health, yet they do not eliminate the need for careful training and guidance. The greatest social disaster of this century is the belief that abundant love makes discipline unnecessary. Respectful and responsible children result from families where the proper combination of love and discipline is present. Discipline and love are not opposites; one is a function of the other. The parent must convince himself that punishment is not something he does to the child, it is something he does for the child. His attitude towards his disobedient youngster should be, “I love you too much to let you behave like that.” —James Dobson3 * King Solomon, in Psalm 127, describes our children as arrows in the hands of a young warrior. … Hmmm, I reflected, So that’s how I’m supposed to view my children ... as arrows! They are designed to have direction and purpose, and they’re supposed to carry with them the possibility of making an impact and a difference. I was just kind of carrying mine around in my quiver, hoping that one day they’d grow out of it and find a quiver of their own. … It quickly became obvious that the goals I needed to set for my children should cultivate their character rather than push them toward a particular career. I did not want to corner my youngsters into cozy little niches of my own design. Too many parents create boxes, then try to force their children to fit inside them. But those ill-fitting boxes hurt their kids’ hearts just as much as an ill-fitting pair of shoes would hurt their feet. Such stifled children sometimes end up with emotional blisters that eventually make it hard for them to walk or even stand up on their own. I decided to cherish principles, moral fiber, and integrity above grades, athletic prowess, and tidy bedrooms. To avoid establishing goals that were too restrictive or confining, I asked myself this question: Can my child either be a sitting judge or a standup comedian; a famous surgeon or a faithful garbage collector; an investment analyst or a lawn-care specialist—and still achieve the goals I have set for him? If I answered yes, then my goals were probably fair and my box was probably not too small. I decided to accomplish my goal-setting by listing three to five qualities that I wanted to see emerge as distinguishing characteristics in each child’s life by the time he left home. I knew I couldn’t handle many more than that! I included traits such as honesty, generosity, commitment to family, contentment, and the ability to function independently. They varied depending on the personality of each child and changed somewhat over time—depending sometimes on my maturation as a mom. … Completing this exercise provided definitive direction and purpose for my mothering. I found targets to shoot toward. If I noticed the negative traits I had chosen not to tolerate emerging in one of my sons’ lives, I knew it was time to intervene.—Gwendolyn Mitchell Diaz4 * If you think of your children as small and unimportant, you will talk with them about small, insignificant matters. You will communicate trivia to them. And their growth will reflect this dimension of talk. You will leave behind a generation of stunted dwarfs. On the other hand, if you see your children as future parents, future leaders, future men and women of God, and see them as growing daily toward this important role, you will do all in your power to shape their lives toward the grand objective of helping them become parents, leaders, and men and women of God.—V. Gilbert Beers5 * Love the Lord your God and keep his requirements, his decrees, his laws and his commands always. … Teach them to your children, talking about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.—Deuteronomy 11:1, 196 Compilation courtesy of www.anchor.tfionline.com. Image from Wikimedia Commons.
References: 1 KJV. 2 Power for Parenthood (Aurora Production AG, 2001). 3 Dare to Discipline (Tyndale House Publishers, 1975). 4 Mighty Mom’s Secrets for Raising Super Kids (RiverOak Publishing, 2001). 5 Parents: Talk with Your Children (Harvest House Publishers, 1988). 6 NIV. Edwin J. and Alice B. Delattre, book excerpts Our children deserve to learn important lessons from us and to acquire important habits with our help. They need help in learning what matters to us. We want our children to grow up to be responsible adults. We want them to learn to feel, think, and act with respect for themselves and for other people. We want them to pursue their own well-being, while also being considerate of the needs and feelings of others. Many parents will also want to share with their children deeply held religious and moral convictions as a foundation for ethical behavior. This booklet discusses habits of fairness, respect, courage, honesty, and compassion that responsible people share, and it can be used by parents with different beliefs. As parents, we can give our children the best in us by helping them acquire habits and character traits that they can rely on in their own lives. If we help them learn to take pleasure in thinking and behaving well, they will have the best chance to lead good lives as individuals and as citizens in the community. This will be true no matter what unpleasant situations or bad influences they come across. What do we mean by responsibility? None of us is born acting responsibly. A responsible character is formed over time. It is made up of our outlook and daily habits associated with feelings, thoughts, and actions. Responsible people act the way they should whether or not anyone is watching. They do so because they understand that it’s a fight and because they have the courage and self-control to act decently, even when tempted to do otherwise. We want our children to appreciate the importance of being responsible. We also want them to develop the habits and strength to act this way in their everyday lives. Learning to be responsible includes learning to:
Respect and compassion for others As part of being responsible, children need to respect and show concern for the well-being of other people. Respect ranges from using basic manners to having compassion for the suffering of others. Compassion is developed by trying to see things from the point of view of others, and learning that their feelings resemble our own. Respect for others also includes the habit of treating people fairly as individuals, regardless of race, sex, or ethnic group. As we mature, respect includes realizing that not all our obligations to others, such as caring for a family member who is sick, are chosen freely. And it includes tolerance for people who do not share our beliefs or likes or dislikes, as long as they do not harm others. These habits are especially important because many of the wrongs people commit result from indifference to the suffering they cause. Honesty Honesty means telling the truth. It means not misleading others for our own benefit. It also means trying to make decisions, especially important ones, on the basis of evidence rather than prejudice. Honesty includes dealing with other people and being honest with ourselves. To understand the importance of being truthful to others, our children need to learn that living together depends on trust. Without honesty, trusting each other becomes impossible. Honesty with ourselves involves faring up to our own mistakes and biases, even when we have to admit them to others. It includes self-criticism. The point is to learn from our errors and to do our best to correct them, not to dwell on them. Courage Courage is taking a position and doing what is right, even at the risk of some loss. It means being neither reckless nor cowardly, but faring up to our duties. It includes physical courage, intellectual courage to make decisions on the basis of evidence, and moral courage to stand up for our principles. Courage does not mean never being afraid. It can involve trying to overcome our fears, such as a fear of the dark. But our children also need to learn that sometimes it is all right to be afraid. Courage becomes especially important by the time children become teenagers. They often have to stand up against peer pressure to do the wrong thing, such as using drugs. Self-control Self-control is the ability to resist inappropriate behavior in order to act responsibly. It relates to all of the different aspects of responsibility mentioned so far, including respect and compassion for others, honesty, and courage. It involves persistence and sticking to long-term commitments. It also includes dealing effectively with emotions, such as anger, and developing patience. Self-respect People with self-respect take satisfaction in appropriate behavior and hard-won accomplishments. They don’t need to put others down or have a lot of money in order to respect themselves. People who respect themselves also view selfishness, loss of self-control, recklessness, cowardice, and dishonesty as wrong and unworthy of them. As they mature, if they have learned the lessons of responsibility, they will develop a good conscience to guide them. In addition, people who respect themselves respect their own health and safety. Similarly, they are unwilling to be manipulated by others. Patience or tolerance does not mean allowing others to mistreat us. While we help children have high standards for themselves, we also need to let them know that failure is no embarrassment when we have done our best. For example, losing a game when we have played our best, and our opponents have simply played better, is no disgrace. How Can Parents Encourage Responsible Behavior? Everyday experiences Especially when they are young, children learn best about responsibility in concrete situations. What they do and what they witness have lasting effects. Most of the activities described in this book are for you and your child. We are always teaching our children something by our words and actions. They learn from seeing. They learn from hearing. They learn from overhearing. They learn from us, from each other, from other adults, and by themselves. All of us acquire habits by doing things over and over again, whether in learning to play a musical instrument, to pick up after ourselves, to play games and sports, or to share with others. The best way to encourage our children to become responsible is to act as responsibly as we can in their presence. We must genuinely try to be the sort of people we hope they will try to become. We can show them by our words and by our actions that we respect others. We can show them our compassion and concern when others are suffering. They need to see our own self-control, courage, and honesty. They need to learn that we treat ourselves, as well as others, with respect, and that we always try to do our best. As they grow older, they should have the chance to learn why we live as we do. As our children watch us daily, as we talk to them, encouraging their questions and trying to answer them thoughtfully, they begin to understand us—and we begin to understand them. Understanding each other well is the best way to teach our children respect for our ideals of good character. Using literature and stories Children learn about responsibility through many activities, including reading stories. They learn by identifying with individual characters or because the message from a favorite story strikes a particular chord. Children can be touched deeply by good literature, and they may ask to have things read to them again and again. Children can learn all sorts of lessons from stories. They might learn about courage by reading about David standing up to Goliath. Or they might learn the value of persistence and effort from The Little Engine That Could. When they are older, reading can help prepare children for the realities and responsibilities of adulthood. It is usually better for children to read a good book about such things as war, oppression, suicide, or deadly disease before seeing these things up close. Developing Judgment and Thoughtfulness Judgment on ethical issues is a practical matter. Children develop their capacity for judging what is a responsible act, just as they come to appreciate the meaning of responsibility, through practice. Especially when they are young, children need to see moral questions in terms that are meaningful to them. We can also help our children develop good judgment by talking through complicated situations with them. One way is to help them understand the long-term consequences of different choices. If they tell us about a story they have read, we might ask them to imagine what the result might have been if a favorite character had acted differently. Sometimes, it can be difficult to know the difference between acting bravely and acting recklessly or how to balance duties when they conflict. As parents, we can help by making it clear, through what we do as well as what we say, that it is important in such situations to think carefully and honestly about what should be done, as well as to keep in mind how others will be affected by what we do. Your child’s ability to reason about different issues, including ethical ones, will improve as your child matures. Just as reasoning can lead to a more thoughtful understanding of responsibility, or what actions to take in complicated situations, it may also become easier to rationalize selfish or reckless behavior. But if you have helped your young child develop strong habits of considering the welfare of others, honesty, courage, and admiration for worthy accomplishments, your child will have a solid foundation on which to build. Just remember one thing: teaching our children about responsibility doesn’t mean that we can’t laugh or that we have to be grim. Our children should see that we can be serious about our principles, while still being able to play and have fun. Excerpted from Helping Your Child Learn Responsible Behavior. U.S. Department of Education Office of Educational Research and Improvement. 1993
[We] asked: What are our values as a family? What do we really believe? What is important to us? We came up with four words: gratitude, generosity, humility, and courage. We determined that we want those four values to define who we are as a family, and for Parker [my oldest son] and I, who we are as men. So, I am always conscious of how do we cultivate gratitude. How do we model generosity? How do we stay humble and keep learning and stay hungry for more of God? And how do we live courageously? You cannot obey the will of God and not be courageous. That’s why God said to Joshua, “Be strong and courageous,” because if you are going to experience and stake claim to the promises of God, you are going to have to be courageous. Those four words are words that begin to define us as a family. They are things I want to impress upon my children.--Mark Batterson * If you haven’t done this already, it’s a good idea to give some thought to what your personal or family core values are—to determine the ideals that fundamentally guide your personal choices, that represent the Christ-life and integrity that you want to demonstrate, and that you feel will lead to your having a full and purposeful life. There are any number of ways to express your personal values and priorities. Some people do it in list form, keeping the points brief. Others write a personal mission statement. Some express what they feel identifies them as a person, the aspects of their life and goals that are most important to them. Even if you haven’t previously given this serious thought, everybody has values or principles that fundamentally play into their decisions and thought processes, even subconsciously, and that are part of making them who they are, that form the fiber of their character. If you give this some thought and prayer, you’ll probably be able to recognize certain threads in your actions and thinking, points that you continually factor in to your decisions or base your decisions on, and this can help you to identify what values are core to you. You might also recognize some points that you haven’t given the proper priority to, or factors that need more consideration, and you can adjust accordingly. If you haven’t done this before, then your list of values might be a work in progress; you might redefine it as time passes. If we follow the thinking that the values in Matthew 22:37–40 are at the center of all we say, do, and believe, the basis for our choices … then any values springing from those two commandments will be in harmony with each other.—Peter Amsterdam * Jesus said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your mind.’ This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ On these two commandments hang all the Law and the Prophets.”--Matthew 22:37–40 * And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.--Deuteronomy 6:6–7 Text courtesy of http://anchor.tfionline.com/post/values-life-lessons-and-truths/. Photo by Christine [cbszeto] via Flickr.
By Josie Clark As I rushed around the streets of Morelia, Mexico, the stoplights were crowded with beggars. It was Christmas Eve, and I had gone out with my 10-year-old daughter for some last-minute shopping. “Look at her!” Cathy drew my attention to an old woman who had stopped begging momentarily and was rubbing her cold, bare feet. “She’s someone’s grandmother,” I thought aloud, “but instead of being home with her family, she is out here in her bare feet, trying to scrape together a little money for Christmas dinner.” Then an idea struck me. “Cathy, let’s go home and get together some food for her.” It was already getting dark, so she probably wouldn’t be working that stoplight much longer. We raced home, found a couple of sturdy bags, and began going through our well-stocked pantry and refrigerator. Rice, beans, dried jalapeños, a jar of salsa, corn tortillas, a cooked chicken. It was easy to fill the bags from our abundance. A loaf of bread, jam, bacon. I tied the bags with large bows, and we headed off to find the old woman. At first we thought we had taken too long and missed her. Then we saw her trudging slowly down the street, her shawl wrapped tightly around her, probably on her way home. “Hello!” Cathy greeted her and continued in Spanish. “We saw you at the stoplight and brought you some food for Christmas dinner. We hope you and your family will feel God’s love this Christmas.” The old woman looked at us with wonderment, and tears welled up in her eyes. Then she took Cathy’s hands in hers and kissed them. “Thank you. Thank you. God bless you. You are beautiful. You are a Christmas angel.” She took the bags and continued down the street. Our own Christmas Eve was festive, as usual, and the next morning Cathy opened her gifts. When I asked her if she was having a good Christmas, she replied, “You know, Mommy, seeing that old woman so happy last night, and having her kiss my hands—that was the best Christmas present I got. I think giving is the best part of Christmas!” Courtesy of Activated! magazine. Used with permission.
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